Don't Overdo It!
by Do a Barrel Roll
Summary: Kratos's rather obsessive healing of Lloyd as compared to everyone else comes to light, and it leads to rude speculation from the party about his certain preferences, Lloyd's confusion, and the wrath of Yggdrasill himself. Not yaoi, obviously humorous oyako galore.


**Nope. I certainly don't own Tales of Symphonia...honestly, if I did, Kratos wouldn't have left. To this day, I don't see the logic in that!**

**Anyway, as many of you have guessed or already known, this fic is based off an actual gameplay mechanic, something with Kratos being twice as likely to heal Lloyd as he is the rest of the party. If you ever have both of them in your party, it's pretty obvious...**

**Obviously, spoilers ahoy!**

* * *

"We need to have a talk," Raine abruptly spoke up one night when she, Lloyd, Kratos, Genis, Colette, and Sheena were grouped around a campfire, swallowing down Raine's atrocious attempt at beef stew (not that they'd tell her that, since they all mostly valued their own well-being).

Lloyd cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy dog as everyone besides him and Kratos, sitting so close to him that their shoulders were bumping, snapped to attention. Even _Colette _looked slightly nervous, which worried him more than all the others combined.

"What is it, Professor Sage?" Lloyd asked, still ever so bamboozled. The mercenary beside him took advantage of everyone focusing on Lloyd to slip the contents of his supper bowl to Noishe, who happily slurped it up and then whined at the horrendous taste. Kratos shushed the "dog" with a swift, light kick to the rear.

"Err, actually, it's about the last battle," Sheena clarified for the clueless swordsman in red.

"Specifically about Kratos and you," piped up Genis, with the others all nodding.

The trepidation in the bubbling pot that was Kratos's emotions stirred, only to be held back by a calm, aloof expression as Kratos asked, "What about it?"

"Yeah, no one's hurt now, right?" said Lloyd, worrying further as his friends just seemed to grow more agitated.

"Which is precisely what we need to discuss," Raine broke in. She then turned her most dangerous gaze on the taciturn mercenary, and Lloyd shivered. He normally only faced that glare before an impromptu smack or spanking. "When we battled those monsters earlier today, Genis's ear was sliced so far that it was dangling, Sheena's stomach was torn through, and Colette's arms were savagely bruised. My healing artes were stretched thin, but you didn't heal any of them..."

"Where are you going with this?" Kratos growled, his hand subconsciously itching toward his sword.

Sick of the far too palpable tension, Lloyd stepped between his two mentors. "Hey, come on, guys! The day's over, we're all tired, why don't we rest instead of fight?" He went to smile reassuringly, but then Raine kicked him so hard that he skidded through the dirt, scraping his leg on a stray branch in the process. "Ow!"

Raine covered her mouth with her hand in shame, asking, "Are you okay, Lloy-"

Before she could even finish her inquiry, Kratos was there beside Lloyd, assessing his scratch, which was now oozing blood. "First Aid," he murmured, and the cut magically sealed itself up.

"Thanks, Kratos," Lloyd said, and Kratos nodded, his eyes brimming with that bizarre warm emotion that Lloyd couldn't identify, but could only say it was never directed at anyone but him. "...Though I don't think using all that magic was really super necessary."

"That's exactly the problem, though!" Genis interrupted, earning glowers from both Lloyd and Kratos. Kratos's glare of doom, death, and gloom would've made Spiritua personally wet herself, but Genis bravely marched on for their cause. "No matter how banged up the rest of us are, if Lloyd gets so much as the tiniest of bruises, you heal him first and until he's in more than perfect condition!"

"He...does?" Lloyd blinked in wonder, looking from his best friend to Kratos. "Uh...do you?"

To his amazement, Colette nodded in affirmation. "Well...Mister Kratos does tend to spend the most time helping you, anyways." Her eyes widened as she sensed just a smidgen of rudeness in her speech. "I'm sorry, that came out so rudely!"

"Answer, Kratos," Raine interrupted Colette's apology fest. "All we want to know is why Lloyd."

"...Who I heal is my business and mine alone," the mercenary dodged. "Lloyd is my...pupil, and I do not wish any harm to come to him."

Genis frowned, twerking one eyebrows and eliciting envy in Lloyd. The young swordsman could ever only raise both of his eyebrows, or neither...must've been an elf thing. "But you did the same thing at the temple in Iselia and in Triet, and you only started seriously instructing Lloyd in Palmacosta."

Genis smirked victoriously when he saw Kratos's visible eye twitch ever so slightly, though otherwise he seemed impassive. "I will hear no more of this. It's getting late, and we need to rise early tomorrow-"

"But there's a reason, right?" Genis pursued.

"Genis, come on, can't you leave him alone?" begged Lloyd, desperately yearning for some shut-eye himself. "Tomorrow he'll start helping everyone equally, and-"

"But it doesn't make sense!" Genis blurted. "There's something nagging me about this, like the answer to why is on the tip of my tongue-"

"Go. To. Bed," Kratos hissed.

Silence fell, everyone either frightened to speak or not desiring conversation. Kratos wandered to the outskirts of the camp, patrolling for monsters and ruffians and whatever else would dare to harm the party. Meanwhile, Lloyd buried himself in blankets and tried to doze off, and the rest of the regeneration crew congregated around the fire, unusually quiet as they brooded over their puzzle. Then...

"Maybe he's Lloyd's long-lost brother?" Colette offered.

"Maybe he's insane," Genis muttered.

"Maybe he's gay," Sheena murmured darkly.

"I can hear you all, you know!" The mercenary's voice their ears, and they all fled, terrified of the older man's judgement.

Inwardly, Kratos groaned. He despised anything related to incest, after all.

* * *

Months passed by, and not another conversation concerning Kratos's questionable distribution of healing mana or his sexuality ever came up again. Then came the day he had been dreading ever since hearing the name Lloyd, since seeing Anna's grave...

They were at the Tower of Salvation, and Kratos's could actually feel the bile rising in his mouth as he looked over the son he had brutally beaten. His companions were scattered about as well, most of them barely clinging to consciousness.

Lloyd shakily raised his head to glare at the man he'd trusted, the false mercenary who'd betrayed them all. There was blood running into his usually innocent eyes, eyes now stormy with anger and shame-

Those eyes, mixed with the myriad of injuries marring Lloyd's body, did it for Kratos. Cursing in Angelic, he knelt beside the boy, murmuring, "First Aid!"

Lloyd's eyes rapidly switched from disgust to confusion as his injuries healed over. "Wh...what?"

"Are you all right?" Kratos asked, going against all his prior actions, against his better judgement. Yggdrasill would be there any minute in all his spandex-clad glory, Lloyd would be killed if he was spry enough to battle-

"Kratos, what are you doing healing that inferior brat of yours?" Speak of the devil, Yggdrasill strutted onto the scene, proud as a peacock, with his rainbow wings unleashed behind him. Only his indecent choice of clothing made it clear to those still awake that he was a man, though every now and then Kratos wondered...

"I am sorry, Lord Yggdrasill," Kratos lied through his teeth. "It's the gameplay mechanics...they make me do this."

Yggdrasill blinked like an idiot, then scowled indignantly. "Don't make up nonsense, Kratos. What in Niflheim are gameplay mechanics?" Kratos didn't have a proper explanation ready, so Yggdrasill lashed out, a wave of telekinetic power sending Lloyd hurtling into a pillar. "Are you betraying me once again, Kratos? Honestly, taking out the woman wasn't enough? Do I need to eliminate your son as well? Such a pain."

"...Son?" Lloyd murmured in shock, looking up at Kratos with wide eyes. "No...how could you be my d- but you're too young..."

"Aww, and the brat rejects you," Yggdrasill sneered, looking upon his immediate subordinate with mock pity. The man was still concentrating on his stupefied spawn, so Yggdrasill snapped in his face. "Listen to me, Kratos, you-"

"First Aid!" All the broken bones and internal bleeding Lloyd has sustained from the collision healed, though the soothing energy did nothing for Lloyd's current mental state.

"Lloyd, I apologize," Kratos blurted guiltily, his composure briefly shattering as he noticed all the blood everywhere. "I was not focusing on what was best for you, I was just wallowing-"

"YOU WON'T TAKE KRATOS FROM ME!" Yggdrasill hissed like an irate teenage girl duking it out with her BFFL over a cute boy they both incessantly swooned over, though the teenage boy in this case was actually a four thousand year old angel of death, and the BFFL was also his current arch foe, tied with humidity and Yuan's awful cooking for most irritating adversary.

Lloyd crumpled as another wave of agony washed over him. As Yggdrasill also knocked down all of Lloyd's allies, Kratos was swift with yet another cry of, "First Aid!"

Lloyd took another step forward, and Yggdrasill shrieked at Kratos, "I trusted you!" as he injured Lloyd for a third time.

"I failed you," Kratos replied before healing Lloyd again, who dragged himself closer to the quarreling pair.

This pattern of Yggdrasill screaming and attacking Lloyd, Kratos retorting and healing his son, and Lloyd stumbling continued seemingly without end.

"Failure? I turned out perfectly!" Yggdrasill scoffed, still sounding like your stereotypical schoolgirl.

"Yet your fashion sense is lacking."

"And your precious Lloyd's taste isn't?!"

"Suspenders are a perfectly acceptable accessory for both a swordsman and a blacksmith, although stretch material went out of style before I even met you."

"And I suppose wearing enough buttons to look like a disco ball is PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE?!" Kratos flinched visibly, and Yggdrasill knew he had hit his mark on both Kratos and Lloyd, albeit with different kinds of blows. "I also assume you think YOU could've corrected this if you'd raised him with that inferior wife of yours, hmm?! _If it weren't for that filthy human whore-"_

Lloyd's swords pierced through Yggdrasill's vitals, as the head honcho of Cruxis had lost his sight on Lloyd in order to upbraid the insubordinate father properly. "Mom's not...a whore..you bastard!" he wheezed. Kratos took note of Lloyd's distress and healed him for the umpteenth time.

Long lost to insanity, Yggdrassil eyeballed the blade protruding from his front and turned to Kratos. "Heal...me..."

Kratos shrugged, eyeballing him coldly. "I'm out of TP."

And so it was that Yggdrasill died without an ounce of dignity, taken out during a tantrum of jealously and arrogance by a country bumpkin and his traitorous father, with the last thoughts of the tights-clad man being a wonder of what in the name of Niflheim TP was.

"...And he completely forgot about just using the Eternal Sword to win," Kratos murmured sadly, shaking his head. "I truly am an awful teacher."

"Dad." Lloyd's thankfully steady voice shook Kratos out of his state of mourning, and he turned his concerned gaze on his weary son. "You're my dad."

It was not a question but a statement, yet it took Kratos a minute to reply, with neither of them noting their now conscious companions or the Renegades storming the scene inquiring of them to explain how and why the leader of Cruxis was dead. Kratos could only nod and say, "Yes. I'm sorry."

Lloyd ground his teeth, looked away, and did the rational thing.

He punched his father in the face.

* * *

Life went on after Yggdrasill's demise. Lloyd and his comrades reunited the worlds, utilizing their own skills along with the assets of a few new additions to the gang. Lloyd also mended things with Kratos, even convincing the man to stay with him instead of atoning for not being present in Lloyd's life by leaving his son forever so he could not be present in Lloyd's life _again._

It took Lloyd only two minutes to get Kratos to see reason with that sound, logical argument.

The two of them had gone on a hunt for the Exspheres on Lloyd's boat, as thy had once discussed on the first journey, and for the time being afterward they had settled down in Luin.

"You're up early," Kratos remarked as he came inside to find Lloyd perched at the table, biting his tongue in concentration as he scribbled on a paper.

"Just writing a letter to Sheena," he replied. "We haven't seen her in awhile, so I thought I'd ask how Mizuho was doing, see if they needed - OW! Paper cut!" Lloyd began to curse as the slightest of paper cuts appeared on his thumb. He eyed it with displeasure. "Well, that's over with. Honestly, that'll be gone in an hour if I - "

"FIRST AID!" Kratos yelled as he prodded at the wound, the biggest injury he'd seen Lloyd go through in what felt like ages.

"WOULD YOU STOP?!"

* * *

**All right, so Yggdrasill was dumber than he should've been, but this probably qualifies as semi-crack anyways...**


End file.
